Oh hello, friends! It’s been a while.
When last we spoke, it was May and I was writing about my throat tattoo. Somehow now it’s September. This newsletter is not an essay (I’ll have one of those coming soon enough), but just a little gossipy update since it’s been a while. Perhaps you want your Ariel fix? Here’s what I’ve been up to.
WORK STUFF: Relaunching Offbeat Wed
Thanks to Danielle Barnum for taking my new consultancy headshots. I was aiming for “industry authority but also approachable” vibes.
Some of y’all might recall that last year I relaunched Offbeat Empire as a small business consultancy where I work with all sorts of clients.
Well, this year I decided I wanted to see if I could shift my work with Offbeat Wed from an ad-supported consumer publication to a B2B membership program that’s essentially applying my consultancy work to the wedding vendors I’ve worked with for decades.
This has been a massive undertaking — Offbeat Wed turns 20 in a few months, and pivoting a brand that old into something new is a real risk, but also a massive undertaking.
First I had to shift the editorial strategy in a way that made sense, doing a mix of B2B content for vendors, plus B2C content featuring my vendor members.
Then the website had to be completely revamped. On the back end, it was a crusty old Wordpress install that my webdev was about to stop supporting. On the front end, the site needed to convey that this was no longer a Buzzfeed-era wedding blog, but rather a wedding consultancy for wedding vendors with a deep archive of couple-facing resources.
And finally, I had to structure the new business model to create a job that I actually enjoy working, with a revenue stream that makes the work actually sustainable.
Now that all that work is done (whew!), what’s next is possibly the most daunting task: sales. 😩 Despite my 30 years of marketing work, I have always avoided sales because my rejection sensitivity tells me I just can’t handle it. Here at the ripe old age of 51, I’m trying to treat it as valuable neuroplasticity practice + learning a new job skill later in life + a form of spiritual humiliation training.
I can do this, right?
ADVENTURE STUFF: I went paddleboarding in the fjords of Norway
That’s me on my paddleboard with all my camping gear, in 50 degree weather.
Last year Buster (my old friend and former boss at Medium) reached out and asked me if I wanted to join him and 6 of his friends to celebrate his 50th birthday with a paddleboarding camping expedition. Despite the fact that I didn't know any of the other folks and that this is not an especially abundant year financially, I said YES.
I was a bit scared of the trip — historically, I’ve had some terrible international travel experiences, mostly caused by what I’ve jokingly called “jetlag psychosis.”
So I flew into Bergen, Norway three days before the rest of the crew, and took my time with my tender little self. It turns out I’m actually totally at international travel. I just have to go slow and gentle with myself the first few days.
The 5-day SUP NORWAY expedition in the fjords was amazing! I was expecting it to be a bit more glamping-style than it was, but it turned out we were each responsible for carrying all our gear, and setting up and breaking down the entire camp daily. I grew up camping in the PNW rain, so it was very much in my wheelhouse but quite what I was expecting.
I was deliciously overpacked, complete with a bubble machine, my favorite perfumes and face oils, plus my warm cashmere pajama set. And you know what? I loved embodying both my High Femme Paddle Princess vibes, AND my “toughy in a full rain suit paddling into a rainy headwind in 45 degree temps” vibes.
Fuck yes for containing multitudes.
If you want to see pictures, there are a ton on my instagram. Would it have been more fun if it had been sunny? Sure. But would I have felt like as much of a bad-ass? NO.
PERSONAL STUFF: I’ve been deep in it learning about the Wheel of Consent
Photo of me in Bergen by my paddlecule buddy, Christin.
In January, I went to a consent educational event lead by my friend Roxie Jane about the Wheel of Consent. My mind was completely blown by the nuances of this framework, which posits that consent isn’t a simple yes or no, but rather a quadrant based on who’s DOING the action and WHO IT’S FOR.
I was so enchanted by the wheel that, for my birthday this year, I asked Roxie if she would lead a private, strictly platonic consent event for me and a room of my female friends. It was amazing!
This framework has become a huge part of my never ending psycho/spiritual work related to codependency, people pleasing, control, attachment issues, and more. If you’re in Seattle and you’re curious about it, you can learn more here and if you’re outside Seattle, there’s the book or tons of videos.
What’s next?
I have an essay I’ve been noodling on for months about somatic discernment. Most of the questions that came out of Voluminous Love were related to choices around whether a specific person was worth loving voluminously. Cuz while everyone is worthy of love, only some folks are worthy of your TIME. The way I figure out who’s a fit is through a body-based self inquiry method… because my body almost always knows more than my brain does. Once the rains come back, I’ll write about it.
Oh and speaking of Voluminous Love, I have my zines drafted and ready to print! That’s another rainy season project.
And my other rainy season project I’m really excited about is a hole-y wool sweater I got for a steal in Norway that’s ready to be darned. Who knew I’d love darning so much!? (…And other shocking quotes from a middle gen Xer trying to survive a deeply destabilizing time.)
